Expectations...

Why are others expectations of us always so unattainable? Always just a little too far out of our reach? Parents have these expectations, but so do children. Parents want the best, expect the best, demand the best. They want us to be better than them, to make up for those deficiencies that complicated their goals and aspirations. It's easy for them to expect this, for it is something held for the future. You can't hold it,or look at it, or smell it but they know its real. Assume it's real. But what about the present? Are the expectations for the present far too hard for the child to grasp?

Likewise, children assume that their parents will function in some capacity or another to provide for their means. And if these needs are not met, is that grounds for dismissing these goals set by the parents? Is it okay to forever hold that grudge that naws at your very existence? The what if's...what if you had a decent job and I could wear the clothes I wanted...what if you weren't sick and felt the need to turn to those drugs...what if you worked hard enough so I could be in the upper echelons of society and not at the bottom?

Anger Management

See, I live in a logical world and as such illogical things make me so damn mad. ANGRY! If you leave a dirt ring in the tub similar to the ones you find in a junkyard, clean the shyt out! If I just mopped the damn floor, why walk on it with dirty gym shoes? Why? I guess because you have a maid service, so its fine to leave your clothes strewn around the living AND dining room.

Why clean it up you say? Because the shyt skeezes me out like open sores. Really, if I see a mess and walk away from it, I'll think about it all day. It's like the mess gets in my mind and taunts me. "Hee hee haw, I'm in here just chillin' chump". And like an ass, I get up and clean it. But guess what? I'll have another surprise waiting for me somewhere else.

I live with folks with a far lower skeezability factor than mine, far lower. And that's fine. Some things just don't mess with others. Doctors crack open people all the time. Garbage men still pick up the trash every week and there are janitors that clean up the most abominable messes ever known to mankind. My gripe, though, is the lack of appreciation shown for cleaning up after a) Grown ass people, b) Grown ass people, c) GROWN ASS PEOPLE! Man, I could tolerate cleaning after a child because it's a given that they're filthy. But I'm talking about folks that have stalked this earth for a half a century and more.

And you know what this leads to right? Me being the biggest bytch, crying over spilled milk (Pun intended. Who the spilled a whole glass of milk on the counter, and didn't wipe it up!). Me screaming at the top of my lungs. Me looking like the ass. So I learned my lesson. Just clean the effing stuff and go on about my business. Man, if I wasn't so into watching complete seasons of Oz right now, I would run away. Little nap sack and all!

Okay, I'm done...that was very theraputic.

So Many Thoughts: Size 12 Shoe

Uglyful should be a real word.

What does 'ROFL' mean anyway?

There is nothing in this world I hate more than rats. If I ever see one that's alive, it's a wrap.

And, I have never had cable my entire life. I blame my parents. And my desire of having a better life by going to school.

I don't enjoy chicken that much. Stereotypes aren't always true.

I have a vivid imagination. I'm currently a world wide superstar that is also a billionaire.

I thought Freddy Kruger was real as a child...still kindda do.

Fruit cocktail is that deal.

Fake nails are stupid and unnecessary and uncomfortable.

This ignant ish.

Mermaids and those creatures that are half man and horse are the worst.

You know on a hot summer's day when it been raining and then during sunset everything turns orange. That scares the hell out of me. Like armageddon or something.

When I was about 15, my feet finally stopped growing at a healthy size 12. I remember going to Payless and having to go all the way to the back of the store for an ugly gym shoe.

What the hell is premium weather?

I hate cheerleaders, especially grown ass women who cheer. Why? Skinny chicks can make a career out of anything. "What do you do for a living?"... responds, "I breathe".

Food comforts me. People don't.

My major should have been in clownology. At least I would have been out of school by now. Two more years my ass.

Soap opera's are so pointless.

I do love celebrity gossip blogs.

When did stamps go up to 39 cents?

I have one friend. Well 3 if I count Jesus and myself.

Am I the only person that hates dogs? Man's best friend my ass. Well then that rabid ass dog shouldn't have chased me down the street when I was 9. Running for my damn life.

If I wasn't going to school, I would probably be a recluse.

Why do I get crushes on people I KNOW I will never be able to get? Like that one professor is gonna say, "Hey baby, you've what's been missing my whole life. Now come over here and get an A and a kiss". That's probably what he said to his life partner though.

I never thought I would write a blog. Even if nobody does read, it's like a diary in a way.

Smart people who get on the Dean's List blow so much, it hurts.

Drugs Scare The Hell Out of Me & So Does Spending Money

There hasn't been a lack of comical instances in the news lately where someone wasn't showing off their ass (literally) in some drug induced state. Lindsay Lohan, Britney Spears...blah blah blah. It's getting to the point where I just want to personally put these people out of their miseries and speed up to January 1, 2008 where they will be little more than all the rest of the Gary Coleman's out there.

Don't get me wrong, I do find it fascinating. If only to make me feel superior (you know that's the reason you keep up with the gossip columns too). But how much is too much?

I grew up in a family where Wild Iris Rose was a staple.
I mean, there were more empty bottles of this stuff than milk cartons. And when the first of the month rolled around after an eternity and all the kids received some standard treat that couldn't be got all the time, the grownups were nowhere in sight. EVERYBODY had a vice back in the day. Everything from hard drugs, to liquor and even pills. All of the recent deaths in my family, besides my grandfather, was due to some substance abuse.

And I will not drink anything. Well, maybe those kool-aid flavored drinks like Arbor Mist on the holidays. And I do get tipsy. The funny part is though, I'm like a billion pounds. When I took health in college, I read that I could drink 3-4 alcholic beverages before even a slur would approach. I don't know, you figure it out. But anything brown, or clear like vodka I will not touch. I don't even smoke weed. And those in the black community know that's not even considered a drug. Well it is to me and the federal government! Besides, I don't have the kind of money it takes to live that kind of lifestyle (I go to college and am lucky to get a box of macaroni without cheese). I don't know how much a rock or one those vitaminy looking pills my cousin sells costs, but I think it's a lot. When all your furniture is given to the crack man, it's alot. I'm far too cheap for that shit. I'd rather get a house or buy some stock.

This is why I can understand how hard it is to break those habits. Crack was a bitch in the 80's. What I can't comprehend though is how these habits are got in the first place. Well I know, messed up childhoods and neglectful parenting and all those skeletons in those dark closets are not foreign to me. I've had bad experiences, very bad experiences. And I'm quite sure some of you do too. That's why I just can't swallow these reasons. It's not good enough. Sure, alchohol and drugs probably dull the pain. But you know what I do? Get therapy! Hell yes. Cause I won't be the one going through life sitting on a pity potty because of what happened to me.

So the next time one of you run into one of those infamous ladies who provide so, so much unwholesome entertainment, direct them to the nearest phychiatrist. Because we all know this time next year they will be has-beens rockin' around with Gary Coleman in his motel bathtub/hotub.

Better Than Your Local News

Bill Nye Booed in Waco for Pointing out Moon Reflects the Sun

Nye angered a few audience members when he criticized literal interpretation of Genesis 1:16, which reads: “God made two great lights — the greater light to govern the day and the lesser light to govern the night. He also made the stars.” He pointed out that the moon, which really is not a light at all, rather a reflector of light.

Now I don't know squat about astronomy and I barely paid attention to my physics lectures. But I do know that I loved Bill Nye The Science Guy when I was a kid, and if he says that light doesn't come from the moon, then its alright with me.

read more digg story


Earth From Space - Amazing Photos

Speaking of astronomy...

Earth is the third planet from the Sun and is the largest of the terrestrial planets in the Solar System... Here is some amazing photos of Earth from Space...

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Doesn't this pic remind you of one of those album covers where the artist tries to be 'epic'.






















Fat Kids Miss More School than Counterparts

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/20215678/


Of course fat kids miss more school. I can vouche that as a chunky child, I miss a hell of a lot of school. Why? You figure it out...


Hot Women & The Hideous Men They Love

So what if you´re ugly? Being hideous certainly didn´t stop these lucky bastards from getting themselves some grade-A leg.

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You can go and check out the all 12 posted. But I whole-heartedly disagree that this guy...

is in any way, shape or form ugly.

Why Mary J. Is My Girl

Mary J. Blige is the Aretha Franklin of this generation. The two songs that have ever moved me the most were 'Angel' by Aretha and 'My Life' by Mary.

I vividly remember as a teenager hearing 'My Life' for the first time. This song neatly wrapped in 3 or so minutes how I viewed my own life. It was like an awakening for me because all I wanted was for someone to walk in my shoes and feel my pain. It wasn't a song that got you more depressed about your situation. Rather it was one that made you realize that you weren't the only one. And that's very powerful to somebody who feels alone.



And let's not even mention 'Be Happy'. Every single time I hear that song even to this day I feel like Superwoman. I'll take my happiness with or without you, point blank there is nothing you can say to me.



If she never made another album, sang another song or made one more apperance ever again in life, she would still get my respect. Why? Because she isn't afraid to show vulnerability. Nobody looks at her and believes she is perfect. In the end, the music that matters is not sugary pop and bland r & b. But reflectful and meaningful music that you will remember because it touched your heart so. And this is why after all these years nobody has touched her or even tried to.

So Many Thoughts: Scatter Brain

People always tell me that I look very mean and angry all the time. I'm not mad all of the time, just 90% of the time. I hate when strangers look at me and say, "Damn, smile. It's not that bad". I smile just to get rid of them, when I should say that yes, it is that bad.


I don't know how to speak or write in ebonics, yet I'm black and have lived in the ghetto all my life.


I hate cleaning, especially when someone else gets it dirty soon after. But you know, I get skeeved at my own messes.


I wish I had more money.


Don't you hate when you post a comment on a site and then someone tries to ho you. "You just a hater anyway. You wish you had Beyonce's lace fronts". And I say "Yes, bitch I am a hater. I also have hair of my own".





I've been in college for the past 6 years of my life. I'm ready to leave.

At this rate, I'll never see the 'real world'.

Eggs are disguisting, but omeletes look delicious.

When using public restrooms, I always tear off the first few squares of tissue and throw it in the toilet. It skeeves me out thinking somebody touched it.
And don't even let it just be lying about because the janitors were to lazy to put it in the dispenser. Yuck!

I use public transportation everyday and I hate when someone sits next to me and makes a big deal about my fatness. Here they are hanging all off the seat holding on for dear life at every stop. Stand up then!!

Have you ever gotten on the bus, and all the handicap/senior seat were taken by grown men?

Does anybody else eat this stuff??

It's Great!

I consider myself to be a nice person only if I know you and you're nice to me. I find it hard to care about strangers. I'm not a very warm person.


Why when you talk to old people they start off pleasant and then get into some rant about crooked negro preachers and the downfall of the black community?


I've never had a boyfriend, that's why I'm not quite sure what I like in a man. I'm pretty sure he will look something like this:

I like shy people, they understand the pain.

I like to eat, but not cook.

Judging from so many 'I's', I'm probably more self-centered than I thought. My favorite person to spend time with is me though.

I sweat like a pig. Literally.















The urban dictionary ought to help me with my ebonics. Sad.


Lost 40 pounds in six months, though.